Thursday, May 30, 2013

Defining Caz through a wedding

I've spent a lifetime attending other people's weddings, and at each of them i eyed the decorations, outfits, cakes, catering and entertainment, mentally filing it all away and smugly assuring myself "I certainly won't be doing THAT at my wedding", or "Oh that is SUCH a nice idea, I will do that!" (I have conveniently forgotten most of these ideas now.)

Having only been closely involved in the planning of one wedding before now, i actually know very little about the logistics of making these ideas happen. And the pressure of a wedding to be individual these days  - i don't remember ever considering EXACTLY HOW MUCH my wedding will be about defining WHO I AM before now. (Of course, i've never actually come close to needing to plan a wedding, so of course i am in completely new territory.) And of course, a lot of the wedding plan is still very tentative due to the visa not yet being in-hand. So although i would love to dive in and Pintrest the shit out of this event, i hold back. And because i am holding back, i am afraid i won't know where to start when crunch time comes.

I've always thought of myself as difficult to define. And never has become more apparent as when i'm trying to picture how i want my wedding to look. There all kinds of themes out there, but i don't think i (or my relationship) fits neatly within any of them. We love to travel, but we could hardly call ourselves adventurous globe-trotters. We love music, but both have wide and varied tastes - again, hard to put under a neat little label. We love to read, but are not exactly bookworms - i haven't read a book since January, and Gav's been on the same book since he started his OU course. I'm a bit of a geek, but not very much - and Gav isn't really at all. I love vintage and old-fashioned things, but as an almost entirely jeans-and-tshirt kind of girl, i feel a bit of a fraud dabbling in lace and buckles. We're not steampunk, we're not goth, we're not Trekkies or foodies or arty types. We're not film nerds, we're not comic book nerds, we're not theatre nerds, and the things we're individually nerdy about isn't necessarily shared with the other. (But i WILL one day make him watch ALL of Arrested Development. Oh yes. I will.) And in my beautiful and eclectic group of friends, i have at least one of all of these types of people, and i almost feel like i'm appropriating their "thing" if i consider a theme such as these.


So what to do? Abandon the "theme" idea altogether and just go for a patchwork wedding? Actually, that is a great idea! I literally just came up with that. Why not have Titanic-themed invitations, map-themed favours, hold the wedding someplace interesting like a vineyard or the War Memorial, wear a short dress, dance to first- and second-wave ska and reggae, eat ice-cream, quote obscure tv shows, watch classic movies and take the piss out of them, stay up all night talking in pyjamas with popcorn and wine... Wait. I forgot i was planning a wedding, and started planning ways to integrate Gav into my group of friends. Man, i miss them.

In the end, i am sure i would be happy to get married in a place that looks pretty, eat something that tastes delicious, listen to something that sounds beautiful, and wear something that looks fabulous - as long as i'm surrounded by my favourite people, and holding Gavin's hands. All the other details are open for suggestion and debate and critique - and i guess it's being indefinable that defines me.

Pic found on Oh So Beautiful Paper

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