Off to a not-great start.

I thought i was so clever. I thought i had beaten jet lag with nary a heavy eyelid. Sure, i slept until about 9am on Tuesday morning, but i hadn’t been able to sleep until about 1am on Monday night, after my arrival buzz, meeting Ros, trekking across town on the Tube and dragging my ridiculous suitcase up and down endless flights of stairs to find my room in the hostel.

So i took it easy Tuesday morning. I missed the complimentary breakfast, but i didn’t mind too much. I found myself a corner of the common room and facebooked and Minecrafted tio my heart’s content for a couple of hours. I started feeling a little low about everything, and decided i needed some fresh air, so i went outside in search of the place where i would be singing that evening with the London City Singers, and to see what else i found on my way.

The sunlight was thin and low, even at midday, and reminded me of about four o’clock on a Canberra winter’s day. The height of all the buildings along Southampton Row blocked much of the sunlight anyway, but it wasn’t terribly cold outside. I revelled in the fact that i didn’t look like a tourist to the casual observer, apart from perhaps the slow-ish speed at which i walked, and my apparent fascination with everything around me.

I popped into Tesco and bought a sandwich and a bottle of water for less than three quid. Bargain! (I think!) (Every Little Helps?! What on earth does that mean?!!)

Turned my foldin’ money into some coinage money.

I only got lost twice, and by lost i mean turned onto the wrong street briefly, but quickly realised my mistake and found my way again. I reached Holborn Circus – there’s a statue of Prince Albert on a horse!!

Not much further along the road, i found City Temple, where London City Singers hold their weekly rehearsals at 6.30pm. Satisfied, i headed home. By this stage it was about two-thirty, and i felt like a lie-down. (When i’m unsettled, i crave curling up alone and watching a little 30 Rock, and the only place to be “alone” in the hostel is in my bunk bed with its little curtains drawn. So i curled up and watched tv on my laptop.

The next thing i knew, there were the noises of other people moving around the dorm, and my laptop was hibernating. I struggled to see my watch in the dim light and wondered how long i’d been asleep. To my horror, i saw that it was 6.45. My heart sank and i thought i’d cry. I was so angry with myself. I hadn’t even felt sleepy when i lay down. I’d been congratulating myself on how un-jetlagged i’d felt all day. Evidently, though, the last four weeks of hellishly busy and stressful times, has finally caught up with me. This was actually the original plan, before That Thing That Happened – i was looking forward to a few days of relaxation with a bit of lovely company, he’d even taken days off work to hang out with me – but since those plans went to shit, i thought i’d just push on through, and i thought i'd got through without jet lag.

So Chorus had already started, and i am not the sort of person who enjoys rocking up to stuff late, particularly stuff i've never been to before. I was so miserable about missing Chorus that i just curled up on my bed again and had a little cry, and fell asleep again. I slept until 10pm, at which time i decided it was silly to get up, so i dozed on and off until 2am. At that time i was pretty awake, so i went for a walk to the bathroom, and looked for my phone in the darkened dormitory (haven’t used it since i turned it off on the plane in Sydney). I amused myself with phone games for a while, and slept again. I finally woke up at about 6am, and decided that was enough.

The internet at the hostel has been dropping in and out, but i’ve been able to get online long enough to check facebook, update my blog and look for which trains i have to catch in order to get to Oxford today to meet Anna. Not sure how long we can spend together but i’m already sad about leaving her – feeling a bit fragile, not much to look forward to at the moment.

Pushing on through. What else can i do?