Monday, December 26, 2011

A Solitary Christmas

Adventures in video blogging....

I present to you - Christmas Day with Caz   :)

Friday, December 23, 2011

Christmas Day by Scared Weird Little Guys



Another quality Australian Christmas song. But a lot less heart-wrenching and a lot more lol-producing than Gravy. I will be singing this one on Christmas Day.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

How To Make Gravy by Paul Kelly

Hello Dan, it's Joe here 
I hope you're keeping well 
It's the twenty-first of December 
Now they're ringing the last bell 
If I get good behaviour 
I'll be out of here by July 
Won't you kiss my kids on Christmas day 
Please don't let them cry for me 

I guess the brothers are driving down from Queensland 
And Stella's flying in from the coast 
They say it's gonna be a hundred degrees, even more maybe, 
But that won't stop the roast 

Who's gonna make the gravy now? 
I bet it won't taste the same 

Just add flour, salt, a little red wine and don't forget a dollop of 
tomato sauce for sweetness and that extra tang 

And give my love to Angus and to Frank and Dolly, 
Tell 'em all I'm sorry I screwed up this time 
And look after Rita, I'll be thinking of her early Christmas morning 
When I stand in line 

I hear Mary's got a new boyfriend, I hope he can hold his own 
Do you remember the last one? What was his name again? 
(Just a little too much cologne) 
And Roger, you know I'm even gonna miss Roger 
'Cause there's sure as hell no one in here I want to fight 

I pray to Baby Jesus, have a Merry Christmas, 
I'm really gonna miss it, all the treasure and the trash 
And later in the evening, I can just imagine, 
You'll put on Junior Murvin and push the tables back 
And you'll dance with Rita, I know you really like her, 
Just don't hold her too close, oh brother please don't stab me in the back 

I didn't mean to say that, it's just my mind it plays up, 
Multiplies each matter, turns imagination into fact 
You know I love her badly, she's the one to save me, 
I'm gonna make some gravy, I'm gonna taste the fat 
Tell her that I'm sorry, yeah I love her badly, tell 'em all I'm sorry, 
And kiss the sleeping children for me 

You know one of these days, I'll be making gravy, 
I'll be making plenty, I'm gonna pay 'em all back.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Working hard for the money

Waitressing is like riding a bike. You don't forget how to do it, and if you fall while attempting to do it, it hurts a lot and is very embarrassing.

I don't know why i can't decide on one career and stick to it. I don't know why i think i should be able to do anything i try my hand at. Hmm, maybe those things are related - i keep changing careers because i think "Well, if i'm good at this, i could probably be good at something else! Something different, more challenging, with better pay!!" (though that last part doesn't account for my transition into childcare...)

On my down days, i frame this as a step backwards. Why in god's name am i doing hospitality again?? Didn't i give that up years ago?? Why aren't i using all my qualifications??? Why am i working for minimum wage in my thirties?! I used to be a restaurant and function supervisor. Why am i now just carrying plates and being shouted at? (by managers, not by guests.) I have a degree, for fuck's sake. And this industry is sexist beyond belief - all of my jobs are assigned to me on the basis of my gender, not experience or knowledge. And it's openly sexist, which i think is even worse. It's almost like they're proud of it.

But then i think, hey, it's pretty easy work, made even easier by the fact that i have done it before. It's a no-brainer. I work with pretty nice people (although they tend to be a completely different group each shift - but there are a few that i see regularly). And although i have moments of hate where the bile rises and my blood pressure increases - usually when being shouted at or patronised by some smart-arsed 27-year-old manager, because i'm doing something they don't want me to do (often something i've been told to do by a different smart-arsed manager) - those moments pass and i let it roll right off me. It's not too difficult (physically, although i'm not as strong in my arms and hands as i was when i was 21, but i'm probably just out of practice), i don't have to think (although this poses a problem, because although i don't have to think, i do anyway, and if my thinking leads to showing initiative, i'll often get into trouble because the thing i thought of doing is not what the manager wants me to do RIGHT NOW), and i get to work in a lot of cool places. I genuinely like providing service. Every job i've had has been to provide service or assistance in something, and that's no coincidence. I like being able to make someone else's life or experience a little easier. That might make me seem like a pushover, and is probably the reason i've never ascended very far, but... I just like helping.

I'll admit it's not where i'd thought i'd be at 31. But that's part of the problem anyway - i've never really had a plan or a vision, i just roll with life as it comes. For now i will work as a smiling, helpful waitress, and it will be fine for now. Something better will probably come along. It did in 2011, and it probably will again in 2012. And i will roll with it. Bicycle metaphor.